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• Posted September 16, 2024

Poll Finds Many Parents Worry About Kids Finding Friends

Many parents worry that their kids aren’t popular enough, or that they aren’t making the right friends, a new survey finds.

About 1 in 5 parents say their child aged 6 to 12 has no friends or not enough friends, according to the results of the University of Michigan Health C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children’s Health.

However, two in three parents said it’s also important that their child’s friends come from families like theirs -- something that could get in the way of a kid making new friendships.

Keeping friendships exclusive to certain circles can prevent a child from developing broader perspectives, open-mindedness and better social skills, Mott Poll co-director Sarah Clark said.

“School is often viewed as a place where children will encounter and form connections with peers with different backgrounds, ideas, customs and ways of thinking,” Clark said in a university news release. “Limiting a child’s friends to only those from similar backgrounds may hamper their ability and comfort in navigating diverse networks in the future.”

Most commonly, parents want their kids to find friends from families with similar parenting styles. But more than a third of parents preferred that friends come from families with a certain political or religious affiliation, the poll found.

About nine out of 10 parents believe their child would like to make new friends, the poll found.

More than half of parents reported at least one factor that makes it tough for their kid to develop new friendships:

• About 1 in 5 say that shyness or social awkwardness has hampered their child’s ability to make new friends

• Another 15% say the other kids are mean to their child, making it tough to find friendship

• Just under 10% said their child’s disability or medical condition makes friendships more challenging

“Friendships can play a significant role in children’s overall health and development, emotional well-being, self-esteem and social skills,” Clark said. “But some parents say their children face barriers in making friends, such as personality, social anxiety, medical conditions or just not having as many opportunities.”

About 3 in 4 parents said they’d taken steps to help their child make new friends, the poll found.

Most commonly, parents say they arrange play dates or outings, enroll their child in activities, or give their kid advice on how to make friends, researchers said.

About a quarter of parents try to help by befriending other parents with kids the same age.

“Supporting children in making friends is a balance of guidance, encouragement, and giving them space to navigate social situations independently,” Clark said. “Parents’ involvement may vary based on a child’s age, personality, and social needs.”

However, Clark warned that overbearing parents could make it worse for kids who are shy, socially awkward or suffering from social anxiety.

“For some children, making new friends can be stressful,” Clark said. “Remember that children are still developing and practicing their social skills while making and maintaining friendships.

“Parents should expect and allow children to make mistakes, intervening only in matters of safety,” Clark said. “Later, in a private moment with the child, parents should be ready to listen and offer advice.”

More information

The American Psychological Association has more on helping kids navigate friendships.

SOURCE: University of Michigan, news release, Sept. 16, 2024